I still feel the numb

Lingering tightly

.

I heard you.

And it hurt me

.

I have no control.

It wanders mindlessly

Catering to itself

Destroying me from within

.

My biggest wish

“How do I get rid of it”.

Gather all my pennies

Tossed over the shoulder

.

The smog clouds my

Lungs

I can’t breathe

Please

.

Put me out

I can’t

Breathe

.

I don’t want this

I never did

.

Black.

.

All I see is black

Feel is black

Hear my own

I hug my own

.

There is no other soul.

.

I feel my lungs collapse

Smaller puffs will suffice

Please take my heart

It never worked properly

.

I wish you knew

How this was

How this worked

This is not a choice

.

Normalcy.

That’s all I want.

This can not be healed

.

I want normalcy

This will never go

I just want it to be healed

.

I am a monster I know

Please run

Let the others know

Please run

.

There’s no going back.

There’s no path back from this

I’m sorry

.

I’m addicted to the pain

Addicted to the dark

Self inflicted pains

.

I crave.

I crave the hurt

It hurts so good

.

Carve the lines

Deep in the skin

.

I need the reminder

Clock set.

I am alive

Though it hurts

It hurts so much

.

I am alive..

This is life.

This is mine.

.

These are my tears

This is my blood

.

You can watch from the corner

Or hold me through the night

.

I fall deep within the cracks

But I always come back.

.

This is all I know

This is what I am.

. . . . Black.